Alice in Wonderland

I won’t lie. I was quite disappointed with this offering of Tim Burton’s.

The best word to describe it is ‘generic’. Nothing really new was done with the idea, except for Alice’s history in the beginning. The same old mushrooms. The same old characters, but only the Red Queen has been somewhat updated. Disney should not have tried to make a live action film out of something they had already animated.

And oh, Mr Depp, why did you channel Jack Sparrow for this role? Why did you not have the gleeful madness of the Mad Hatter in his original form? And there wasn’t nearly enough of Stephen Fry’s fantastic voice acting. Alice is a bit of a drip, the White Queen is bizarre in an annoying way and The Knave was slimy.

Look, there was some incredible voice acting, especially for the Bloodhound and the crazy rabbit, but I felt that not enough had been done with what was almost a blank canvas. Burton usually takes generic tales and makes them exciting…with the licence to expand on what was already a drug-fuelled fantasy, he should have created a few more ‘wtf’ moments. But he didn’t, and the gap between my expectation and his offering has made me a little depressed.

Look, it’s worth seeing on the big screen just for the phenomenal graphics, beautiful costumes and cute creatures, but the 3D version was not very well filmed and was annoyingly blurred and out of focus.

I waited over a year, despite my well-placed misgivings, for this movie. And book to movie adaptations can be amazing. Look at Fight Club, King Lear (the director’s name escapes me) The Dark Knight, The Witches, and notably Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption. It can be done, but it usually isn’t, and that’s why I am distrustful of movies made from books. Considering that Watchmen and The Scarlet Letter was such horrors, I truly hope they never get round to filming favourites of mine such as Paradise Lost, Moby Dick (a new version would be shit), and The Diary of Adrian Mole.

(Yes, I’m a snob. But we all knew this.)

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